I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
