Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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