Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
