I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
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Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize