seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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