We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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