Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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