i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize