yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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