i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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