Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize