whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
