I think I died a long time ago.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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