im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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