Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
