She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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