So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just gargled with NyQuil
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
