i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
