**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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