We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
