She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What a dumb baby whore.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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