Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
