It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
