I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
