Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my liver is dry heaving
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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