No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
