loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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