Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we should paint friendship bongs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
