my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
