I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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