I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
