They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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