she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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