If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
