Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
