I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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