That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
