he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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