Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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