I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
