Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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