i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
