96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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