Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
