Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
