The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize