Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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