i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
