this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
