Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
