i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
