is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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