Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
