Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.