She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize