Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
