ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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