He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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