He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
