Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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